Monday, July 9, 2012

Go Your Own Way

Am I alone in getting an instant Fleetwood Mac earbug whenever I hear someone say, "Go your own way"?

Earbugs really don't have anything to do with what I wanted to write about, but as is the nature of earbugs, they won't go away until you listen to the song. So here:

Okay, now that we've taken care of that ...

Sunday was a rough day for me. I pouted and wallowed and threw a 4-hour pity party. Then I started to write a blog post about what all had happened. My writing process involves blind and unfiltered purging, followed by a lot of editing. On posts like the one I started late Sunday afternoon, it becomes cathartic and I usually end up finding revelation followed by deleting the draft. This time though, I thought I'd share what happened.

"I know that I alone am responsible for how my day turns out. I can make a choice to dwell and wallow, or I can make a choice to acknowledge and deal with my disappointment and move on."

That was the moment when I realized the blog post was ready to be deleted. It seemed absolutely absurd to me to continue writing as if I'd already made the decision to wallow. As if I didn't still have plenty of the day left to make it better. So I deleted the post and stood up, determined to do something.

It still wasn't a great day. It was a major disappointment when compared to what I had looked forward to all week. But it was better than slugging on the couch pouting about what could have been. I staked up the tomato, eggplant, and pepper plants. I watered the garden. I split & replanted the onions (we'll see how that went in due time). I came back inside and set some pork chops in a marinade to make for dinner. Then I started this post.

I determined my own day. And that's better than letting circumstances determine my day. It wasn't the best, but it wasn't bad. I think that's worth acknowledging.

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